Zoning Out

Past experience teaches us that the trail from Panama leads back to Seaton Carew.

Sergei Roldugin should offer to buy British Steel. As should Donald Trump. Things would move pretty damn quickly if that happened.

Seriously, though, The Guardian and the BBC have led with name of Vladimir Putin, which does not appear in the Panama Papers.

Unlike the name of David Cameron's late father, whom the BBC has all day described as "law-abiding" without anything so vulgar as evidence.

The BBC that deliberately saved Cameron on the day of the pig story has deliberately saved him again today.

Oh, well, it is time to exercise the United Kingdom's right of self-determination by declaring ourselves independent of the Overseas Territories, albeit with an annual grant of one billion pounds to each of them in perpetuity.

As part of that legislation, the Chagos Islands would be returned to their people, and that people would be returned to those Islands.

In any case, why are we holding on to places that use the US dollar, as the Caribbean tax havens do? If they love the Americans so much, then the Americans can have them.

And it is time to hold a referendum in each of the Crown Dependencies.

One option would be full independence. The other would be incorporation into the United Kingdom, with the historic legislature retained as a devolved body.

There would be no Third Way.

Then we could get down to the Corporation of the City of London.