Never The Great Blond Hope

Boris Johnson is a sexually louche and pro-drugs American citizen. He is an Ottoman aristocrat of very recent extraction, who has publicly recited the Shahada in Arabic. He believes that Christianity overthrew a superior civilisation (slavery, pederasty, the games), and he sees the means to putting things right as being a European Union of which the most populous member-state would be Turkey.

As the voice of big business Eurofederalism and unrestricted immigration, no less than as the voice of big business social liberalism and as the proponent of decidedly eccentric theological and historical opinions, Johnson is a kind of British Mitt Romney. But as with Romney, desperate members of his beleaguered party will go to any lengths whatever in order to try and convince themselves that he is some sort of conservative, despite mountains of incontrovertible evidence to the contrary.

Johnson's was his party's sole victory at this year's local elections, in these Islands' only city where hardly any primary school children speak English at home, and in no small measure due to organised communal voting by a heavily concentrated ethnic minority with closer ties to a foreign and fairly hostile state than, manifestly, to the overwhelming bulk of their own nominal compatriots.

But even the members of that ethnic minority voted Labour for the Greater London Assembly on the same day, just as the inhabitants of Chipping Norton were voting Labour, and just as Labour was taking 60 per cent and more of the votes cast in Southern villages that it had not contested in 30 years, if ever. Yes, including under Tony Blair.

And, like David Cameron and George Osborne, Johnson is a member of an organisation which exists specifically in order to commit criminal damage and other offences, even including assault, just so that its members can prove their ability to pick up the bill. Imagine if a group of youths the same age, but who got up at six o'clock in the morning to pay for universities, were to organise themselves into a club, complete with a membership list, officers, some sort of uniform, the works, all for the express purpose of smashing up pubs. They would rightly be prosecuted as a criminal conspiracy, and they could reasonably expect to be imprisoned.

Mayor of London? President of the Third World Banana Republic of London, more like it. Under no circumstances must he ever become the Prime Minister of what would therefore become the Third World Banana Republic of Britain. Nor will he.