Thursday, 8 November 2012


How I wish that I had listened to Her Majesty five years ago over that sixth gin and Dubonnet.

"We need you as both President of the United States and General Secretary of the Chinese Communist Party in November 2012. We can of course arrange all the paperwork with ease."

"I know, Lilibet, I know. But I have made a commitment to the voters of Lanchester and to the undergraduates of Collingwood."

Will the two chances ever again coincide in either of our lifetimes?


  1. I went to a major public school that you were always taking the p**s out of but you are the only person I know who I can imagine having this conversation with the Queen, or this conversation with anybody, or any conversation with the Queen.

    Old Lindsay tutee boys never die, we just taste that way if you get too far down our throats.

  2. See you soon, with any luck. I may be having a trip to London in the New Year.

  3. I have to say this for you, there is an occasional touch of Auberon Waugh about you, maybe quite a lot of him in real life.

  4. My next book is dedicated to the memory of Paul Foot, Alan Watkins, Auberon Waugh and Michael Wharton.