The first of an occasional series?
Anyway, The Great Man writes:
Dear Mr Lindsay,
The correspondence that was "flying about last week" has of course been brought to your attention, because you wrote it all under a pseudonym. I fear that your serial attempts to get me and other journalists to pay attention to you are a scheme whose prospects of success are proportionate to the amount of intelligence you have invested in the scam.
No one is stopping you from pursuing your political ambitions, so please stop writing to us.
Sincerely,
Oliver Kamm
To which I have replied:
Frit.
And you'll have to do better than that first line, although of course who cares what claims are made by the people who lied this country into war, so that their every utterance on any subject must be a lie?
Again I say that there is a ninety per cent chance that you could not secure enough signatures to get onto the ballot paper, and I dare you to try and prove me wrong. I say that there is a ninety-five per cent chance that, even if you got onto the ballot paper, you would lose your deposit, and I dare you to try and prove me wrong. I say that there is a one hundred per cent chance that you would take fewer votes than I, and I dare you to try and prove me wrong.
And again I say that you, Oliver Kamm (whom I am quite surprised to see describe yourself as a "journalist" - aren't you something grander than that?), whose decision to vote Tory in 2005 and to write about it in The Times because your local Labour candidate was anti-war rules you out for ever from being a Labour candidate, regard the electorate as beneath you, and would never stoop to seeking its mandate.
Prove me wrong. Go on. I dare you.
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Kamm's final paragraph is absolutely to the point. The rest of it is funny too.
ReplyDeleteFrit.
ReplyDeleteAnd anything written by Kamm is funny. He just doesn't know it. Which makes it even funnier, of course.
What do you mean, "frit"? That's just a bizarre allegation - where does it come from?
ReplyDeleteThey are frightened of the electorate. And we all know why.
ReplyDeleteSome silly little NuLab girl out of the typing pool and living on Daddy's money hasn't a hope in hell.
ReplyDeleteIf he's a journalist then why doesn't he want parliamentary candidates to write to him?
ReplyDeleteA "silly little NuLab girl out of the typing pool and living on Daddy's money" would still get more votes than David in NW Durham.
ReplyDeleteWell, we shall see about that, Phogea. Is Anonymous referring to Oliver Kamm, undoubtedly a "silly little NuLab girl out of the typing pool and living on Daddy's money"? Perhaps so.
ReplyDeleteWill she even turn up to the count? She really should, since she will never have attended one except when her current or former boyfriend was standing for some or other student position, and I hardly think that such counts really count.
Hack, as you will know, there are Approved Candidates and Unapproved Candidates. And I am delighted to be one of the latter. While they are still possible...
You've got the measure of the AWS beneficiaries perfectly, especially this time round. Odd to think that you'll be up against someone who thought she was a shoo-in but couldn't even vote when the Iraq war started never mind way back in 97.
ReplyDeleteI know, it seems almost cruel to beat her. But it has to be done. And it will be done.
ReplyDeleteNot least, there are partial-birth abortions to stop. I mean, who DOES she think is going to commit either the electoral suicide or the mortal sin of signing her nomination papers or campiagning for her in certain wards here? Indeed, up to a point, in ANY ward here?
Not the only reason, of course. But certainly one of them.
She could be one of your tutees.
ReplyDeleteShe'd have to a be a hell of a lot brighter to be one of my tutees.
ReplyDeleteAs would Kamm.
"Will she even turn up to the count? She really should, since she will never have attended one except when her current or former boyfriend was standing for some or other student position, and I hardly think that such counts really count."
ReplyDeleteKamm?
Any "silly little NuLab girl [or boy, but there won't be one] out of the typing pool and living on Daddy's money".
ReplyDeleteWhat's this about you using a pseudonym? What's the pseudonym?
ReplyDeleteHow should I know?
ReplyDeleteWelcome to Kammworld.
David.
ReplyDeleteI'm the political editor of a national newspaper. I left a comment on the thread announcing that the BPA was taking stock. Have to be anon just now as I don't wish to compromise neutral stance. But the news that you're standing in Durham is brilliant and your challenge to the neocons and others is a great tactic. It's obvious that they're running scared. But tell us what your plans are. What will happen if the necons refuse to stand? You'll obviously beat NuLab and I can promise you that the media will be there to record political history. But you really need to rub their noses in it. What campaigns do you plan? Will you get your heavyweight ex-minister supporters to go canvassing?
Kamm could not have put it better!
ReplyDeleteVote Lindsay. Vote for a pathological fantasist and liar! Choose clerical-fascism. Support a Quisling who would put us under Russian rule. Endorse a man who rants against elitism but wants reintroduce elitism into society such as qualifications for jurors. Vote for an idiot - you know it makes sense.
Anonymous, watch this space.
ReplyDeletePuff, keep puffing. As you have been doing for over 40 years. That is why you are so opposed to:
- no one’s tax-free income falls below half national median earnings;
- abolition of prescription charges, and restoration of free eye and dental treatment;
- employment rights to begin on day one of employment and apply regardless of the number of hours worked, as promised by John Smith;
- saving council housing, and bringing all council services back in house;
- renationalisation of the utilities and the railways;
- a national network of public transport free at the point of use;
- removal of all nuclear, radiological, chemical and biological weapons from British soil and waters;
- restoration of the supremacy of British over EU law;
- a return to preventative policing based on foot patrols;
- each offence to carry a minimum sentence of one third of its maximum sentence, or 15 years for life;
- restoration of grammar schools, restoration of O-levels, restoration of excellent Secondary Modern schools, and defence and restoration of Special Needs Education;
- a legal presumption of equal parenting;
- restoration of the tax allowance for fathers;
- allowing paternity leave to be taken at any time in the first 18 years of the child’s life;
- help for farmers and small businesses through a windfall tax on the supermarkets;
- defence of village services;
- saving shooting and fishing;
- repeal of the hunting ban;
- making Gypsies and Travellers obey the same planning laws as the rest of us;
- preservation of the historic regimental system;
- rebuilding of the Royal Navy;
- saving the Royal Air Force;
- nuclear power and clean coal technology;
- restoration of British overall control of our defence capability;
- Ministers to have their pay docked if either spending or outcomes are lower in the North East than in Scotland or the South East;
- immediate and unconditional withdrawal from Afghanistan and Iraq;
- total opposition to lap-dancing clubs; and
- an MP’s office in Consett as well as in Crook.
Keep puffing, Puff. As you have been doing for over 40 years.