Crook

I happened to see today’s News of the World. Referring to Hilary Armstrong’s £3,100 towards the cost of repointing gables and walls at her constituency house, the paper said that her constituency was called “Crook & Willington”. It isn’t. She just thinks that it is. And she is none too popular even over there at the moment…

The question of her retirement or otherwise remains unanswered. If she doesn’t go through with it, then it will be because he is so utterly unimpressed with the potential successors being lined up. She makes no secret of this. In which case, if you are a voter here, you will have to ask if you want the same MP until she dies, since she herself openly regards her party as incapable of producing a new one.

Meanwhile, an ungallant thought has occurred to me. For her three grand, where might Hilary be put in the stocks? The gates of what remains of Shotley Bridge Hospital? The entrance to Consett Civic Centre, within very easy walking distance of certain people’s homes? Or, in view of this constituency’s peculiar geography, in more than one place? I am most reliably informed that they would love to host this event in “Crook & Willington”…