In The Headlights

I know someone who won his workingmen's club's Stars In Their Eyes competition by singing Bright Eyes while dressed as a rabbit. I commend that course of action to Councillor Simon Bennett of Wolverhampton, as an alternative to sending round four Police Officers in two cars to arrest a 15-year-old identified only as Fraser, search his home, seize his devices, and take his fingerprints, his mugshot, and a sample of his DNA, all for having posted this picture online.

Indeed, assuming that Bunny Bennett was born in the United Kingdom, then he should record and release a cover version, since unlike Art Garfunkel's original that would be eligible for airplay on GB Music Radio, where Fraser, being a member of Reform UK, might have the pleasure of hearing it. Too bad for the forthcoming reggae version of The Lord's My Shepherd by the Lucknow-born Sir Cliff Richard. Yes, really. He wants it to be the Christmas Number One.

Too bad, likewise, for any such foray on the part of Daniel Hannan, Peter Hitchens, Boris Johnson, or indeed your humble blogger. Johnson, however, really ought to be arrested, and urgently so since he intends to decamp to his native United States to avoid his accountability for his mass manslaughter in the care homes. The Minister directly responsible for those was the now ubiquitous Helen Whatley, who is herself planning to use the benefits system to commit homicide on a similarly industrial scale.

Arrested at the very least on suspicion of misconduct in public office, would Johnson be handcuffed? Was Peter Mandelson? Or do the Police save that for schoolboys, and for blind wheelchair-users and octogenarian clergywomen holding up signs in support of the entirely peaceful Palestine Action that therefore ought not to be proscribed? Have they nothing better to do than that, or running around after Labour MPs who had reported the Greens for having passed a resolution, or following up on Reform's complaint about, all right, the blacker ops of investigative journalism, but even so?