Britain’s Relationship with the United States is so Special that Pete Hegseth has never heard of the sinking of the General Belgrano. Has he heard of the Falklands War at all? Then again, why should he have? What’s it to him? Yet the people who most loudly objected to the interference of Bill Clinton in Northern Ireland and of Barack Obama in the Brexit referendum demanded with considerable menaces that Britain follow George W. Bush into Iraq and now do so that Britain follow Donald Trump into Iran. But Peter Hitchens writes:
Let’s declare independence from the United States of America. I am sick of them bossing us about and I think they’d treat us better if we stood up to them more.
Sir Keir Starmer is not my friend or ally. I think I can say that I have been ruder about him for longer than almost any other British commentator. He may be a dullard lawyer with a Marxist past and his head may be full of Left-wing porridge, but he is our dullard lawyer, who has been required by our King to form His Majesty’s Government. He is not the governor of one of those easily bullied American states which relies on maple syrup for its economy. He is the head of government of an ancient and famous nation – ours.
So it is our job to say that he is not Winston Churchill, which I am very happy to do. Not that you need to be terribly acute to see this. It is absolutely not the job of the President of the United States.
My tarnished sword springs from its mildewed sheath to defend Sir Keir against the comically sinister President Trump, a man who thinks a baseball cap is suitable attire for declaring the start of World War Three and who probably isn’t wholly sure who Winston Churchill was.
How many people, here and in America, responded to Mr Trump’s attack on Sir Keir by shouting at the TV or the radio: ‘And you certainly aren’t Franklin Delano Roosevelt’? Indeed he isn’t, and I struggle to think of a President of the United States (and they have had some real disasters) with whom Mr Trump could fairly be equated.
But what distresses me is that many Tories, claiming to be British conservative patriots, joined in this foreign mockery of the head of our Government. We have in our midst far too many people who think that being a Trumpoid Republican is the same as being a British Right-winger. It is not.
Here I have to put in a qualification. I lived for two very happy and enjoyable years in Montgomery County, Maryland, in the north-western suburbs of Washington DC. My neighbours were open, kind, generous and friendly. They took me to football games. Our children and theirs ran in and out of each other’s houses and (apart from a small incident involving a retaliatory ambush and a Super Soaker water pistol) there were no diplomatic quarrels.
When I hung a lonely Union Jack over my porch (they all had the Stars and Stripes over theirs), they thought it right and proper that I was as proud of my country as they were of theirs. We were different – and we knew it even more strongly because we spoke roughly the same language.
I didn’t think much of their then President, a certain Bill Clinton, but then nor did most of them. But I learned very early on that American warmth and hospitality turned into freezing resentment if any foreigner criticised any aspect of their country. That was their job. But we got on, and mostly got the joke.
Once, on a trip aboard a US Navy ship off the Florida coast, I declined the offer of a baseball cap to protect me from the strong sun, joking that I might lose my British citizenship if I wore such a thing. They laughed. But they also got the underlying point. We aren’t the same.
When you look into it, the 1776 divorce between Britain and America was a lot more bitter and violent than you might first think. We didn’t burn the White House just for fun when we came back to Washington in 1814. And the two countries are far more different than they appear to be on the surface, politically, religiously, culturally and historically. We are taught to revere different people and different actions.
They mistrust the symbol of the Crown. I am reassured by it, and so should you be. Had I stayed another year, I had planned to hold a July 3rd party to celebrate the last day of British rule.
Which brings me to the idea which I now propose. It is time Britain began the process of asserting full independence from the United States.
Perhaps we could hit back at the famous Boston Tea Party of 1773, an incomprehensible row about taxes in which chests of tea were dumped in Boston Harbour by American ‘patriots’. I suggest that millions of us turn up one Sunday and pour bottles of Coca-Cola, perhaps accompanied by cheeseburgers, into the Pool of London at high water. The great scouring tides of the Thames would quickly carry them away.
I would then suggest a voluntary but total ban, in media and Parliament, on the stupid expression ‘The Special Relationship’. No man has ever seen this relationship. The phrase was first invented 80 years ago as a consolation prize for the end of our time as a world power. It is as elusive as the Loch Ness Monster. And if it existed, I wouldn’t want to appeal to it. Our relationship with any nation should be clear and unsentimental, unclouded by delusions of grandeur or weird imaginings that the US loves us and will always come to our rescue.
Instead an independent Britain should support the US only when it suits us, much as America does.
Churchill had to fight hard for American support. The US squeezed us hard throughout the Second World War. It wanted to end what was left of our empire, so making itself the top nation. By summer 1941, most of our gold reserves were in American vaults and we had been subjected to a sort of bankruptcy audit before the famous Lend-Lease system could begin.
Churchill, often furious and resentful at such treatment, had to bite his tongue. Lend-Lease, it turned out, would be enough to keep us in the war, but not enough to allow our economy to recover from it.
After the war, it did not get better. Those who now complain that we have a feeble naval presence in the Mediterranean are wasting their breath. They should research the bullying and harassment which our ships were subjected to by the US Navy in 1956, during our attempt to capture the Suez Canal. These events ended our naval power there. America’s Sixth Fleet stalked our ships, fouled our sonar and radar, and shone their searchlights at French and British vessels by night.
Admiral Sir Robin Durnford-Slater, second-in-command of Britain’s Mediterranean Fleet, complained: ‘We have already twice intercepted US aircraft and there is constant danger of an incident. Have been continually menaced during past eight hours by US aircraft approaching low down as close as 4,000 yards and on two occasions flying over ships.’
General Sir Charles Keightley, commander of Middle East land forces, wrote afterwards: ‘It was the action of the US which really defeated us in attaining our object.’
I can cope with all that. America opposed what we were doing and had the strength and will to stop us. All great powers eventually decline and this was how it happened to Britain. But when we lost our 'first place in the world' position to the US, we did not have to become its subservient colony.
Let’s try independence instead. It hasn’t done the US any harm.