Yes, Weeley

Within the Clacton parliamentary constituency is the village of Weeley. If Count Binface made nothing of that, then even Nigel Farage would almost deserve to beat him. And who will fill in for Farage on GB News during the by-election campaign? Zia Yusuf, whom Reform UK has judged to be a less acceptable parliamentary candidate than a man who had publicly wished to sniff and lick the backside of Carol Vorderman? Yusuf's first name is Muhammad, which is often used as a sort of prefix. That is why it is the most popular name for newborn boys in England and Wales when there is no Islamic name in the girls' top 10.

Or how about Robert Jenrick? The allegations against him are in a different league, and he has form, having been so bent that even Boris Johnson had felt obliged to sack him. What about Tulip Siddiq? That is a fair point, and it is notable that she has not nominated Andy Burnham, doubtless at his request. What about Louise Haigh? She was mugged, later failed to report that her work phone had turned up, pleaded guilty, and was given a conditional discharge. And what about public contracts for Labour donors? What donors? In relation to political parties, private companies do not and should not make donations. They make investments, on which they expect a return.

In British politics, the only money that buys nothing or less is the money that we in the trade unions give to the Labour Party. The winter will be here soon enough, and this country has only about eight days of gas storage at any given time. Until we open up Jackdaw. The employment opportunities would be vast, with the gloriously ambitious Shetland tunnels as just the start. Hit the SNP both with that and with the fact that it was now indisputably as dodgy as an eight quid note.

Although there are even worse. Theresa May has been condescending to an incoming Prime Minister who was in the Cabinet before she had ever sat for a governing party, but her overall majority of one was Jeffrey Donaldson, his vote having cost £100 million like that of each of his nine partisans. It turns out that everyone who was anyone always knew about him. Meanwhile, the party with which his governed Northern Ireland then as now, Sinn Féin, wants the United Kingdom to carry on paying its triple-locked pension there even after incorporation into a United Ireland, an incorporation that looks less likely than ever when 36 per cent of Sinn Féin voters in the 26 Counties, rising to 47 per cent when the Don't Knows are discounted, want a hard border with the Six Counties to keep out immigrants from the rest of the world. To Sinn Féin voters in the Six, has anyone dared ask the same question? After all, that is where their party is already in government.