Norwich North

As a Tory parliamentary candidate put it to me, following the victory of someone whose name already escapes me, his party now consists of “the thick leading the dead”. Her speech would have been just about acceptable if she had been 10 years younger, but I am not even sure about that.

This was a Tory seat until 1997, and most of it is in Broadlands rather than in Norwich itself. Crowing about winning it back is like the crowing about winning back Guildford or Wimbledon in 2005. How were such seats ever lost in the first place? It is like “Labour Wins Back Bolsover”. Except that Labour has never lost Bolsover. Oh, and the Tories’ vote actually went down.

But even so, ha ha ha ha ha. Gordon Brown thought that he could use the expenses business to get rid of a proper parliamentarian and put in some mannequin instead. Well, a mannequin is now the MP for Norwich North, all right. But she is a Tory mannequin, for all the difference that that makes these days. David Cameron, employer of the same trick, take note.