Double disappointment on day one. Andy Burnham’s skirt was not as short as that of Lara Bird, the 1998-born MP for Arbroath and Broughty Ferry. Nor did they play See the Conquering Hero Comes as he was being sworn in. He had come to audition for all three current vacancies, Prime Minister, James Bond, and the Doctor.
On the first, why the wait? The rules have been amended so that, unless the Labour Leader wanted to carry on, a change made by and for Jeremy Corbyn, it was arithmetically possible but politically unthinkable for more than one candidate to be on the ballot paper.
Had the present arrangements been in place in 2020, then Keir Starmer would have been elected unopposed. And now, here we are. But with the very Premiership to be filled. Get on with it. Do it tonight.
And Starmer could not possibly stay in the House of Commons on the backbenches of a party that was governing against his record. At Holborn and St Pancras, Zack Polanski will have to put or shut up.
St. John Fisher and St. Thomas More today, the ideal day for an altar boy to become Prime Minister.
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