One hundred million pounds for each DUP MP. Theresa May has the most heavily subsidised job in the entire British economy.
Northern Ireland does tourism rather well. It ought to organise trips to see the Magic Money Tree that turns out to have existed after all.
Remember, kids, this time last month we were on the brink of "a coalition of chaos" in a hung Parliament that would have weakened Britain in the Brexit negotiations.
We faced the prospect of a Prime Minister who thought that money could be conjured out of thin air (it pretty much can be by a sovereign state with a free-floating fiat currency, and in fact that happens all the time), and who had dodgy ties to the Northern Ireland whose politicians would have been interfering in central government.
What a lucky escape.