I suggest that the three allegedly distinct political parties put out the following statement in the run-up to the next General Election:
It doesn’t matter one jot which of us wins, either nationally or in your constituency. Nothing will change, and each MP from any of us will stand an exactly equal chance of becoming a Minister, entirely regardless of the overall composition of the House of Commons. Not that many Ministers will be appointed from the elected House at all, mind you.
The only exceptions to this will be the few old stagers who have not yet signed up to The Henry Jackson Society and the Euston Manifesto. We’ve kept on a handful of these for appearances’ sake. But don’t worry, we’re going to get rid of them in time for the next Election. “Election”? Doesn’t that word sound funny now? Well, we’re certainly laughing, even if you’re not.
And remember, by that time, you’ll be paying for us through state funding, allocated on the basis of how well we do this time round, when only we are allowed to stand candidates. That last bit is right. Isn’t it?
Well, isn’t it...?