Sentence Structure

Pop-up cells in prison yards? Renting cells abroad? What next, paying another £400 million per year to hire one of those barges which it would officially cost only £50 million to buy, although since it was nearly 50 years old, then even that looked like a rip-off?

I reread The Moor's Last Sigh in two days, and I ticked an item off my bucket list by reading, in one week, Neil Gaiman's preferred text of American Gods, complete with the extras. Imagine having that much peace and quiet. But not everyone can read, and not everyone can speak English.

There are people who need to be sent to prison for a very long time. I have drunk tea in front of Coronation Street with them. I have walked around exercise yards with them, talking about the weather. I have showered with them. I have turned to face the wall so that they might defecate, and they have done the same for me.

But just as there is no case for a war unless there is a strong enough case for conscription, since the country is obviously not under enough of a threat, so if your sentence allowed for your release after less than 12 months, then you were obviously not bad enough to have been sent to prison at all, to spend 23 hours of the day either in front of the television or asleep.

At an average annual cost to the public purse of £46,696, which is £127.93 per day, what good purpose does that serve? Let me assure you that there is absolutely none.

Damn right, I am standing for Parliament again.