Nor ever will. 24 hours after the most courteous of courtesy visits from the Police to inform me that I was once again a victim of a crime with Simon Henig's Mossad fingerprints all over it, my DBS certificate for something came today. No issues. Well, of course not. I'm David Lindsay. And the University renewed my staff card for another however many years this afternoon. It took three minutes, and it only took that long because of the new photograph. Well, of course. I'm David Lindsay. And don't anyone ever forget it.
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So the police are popping in for a cup of tea less than a week before your trial date but have never heard of you according to the DBS, and "the University" (Durham) is still issuing you with a staff card although it must be nearly 10 years since you stopped working there even very part time. Funny how it's only ever MI5 you call for to be disbanded. Some of us remember "the University". Everybody else will find all of this a bit spooky.
ReplyDeleteYou're definitely a very well-protected man, Mr. Lindsay. And the only pintstriped, silk handkerchiefed, "Oxfords Not Brogues" gourmet ever to be awarded full legal aid because all official records showed you were on benefits. Trust you enjoyed taking your entire family to the Pavilion for your fortieth, look forward to seeing you smoking one of your old trademark Cuban cigars on Look North when you're acquitted. Poverty is not what it used to be, it's just what the well cooked books say it is.
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