From Eastern Europe Watch:
One of the most depressing features of contemporary life is how money power and consumer values dominate most aspects of human existence. And in the process has reduced life to a constant form of prostitution or, in the neoliberal buzzword term, "selling yourself". The disintegration of Polish culture under the neoliberal experiment unleashed by the doctrinaire Balcerowicz back in 1990 and reinforced since has made a mockery of the notion of a Catholic Nation. Only money and a crude materialism now prevail. That is shown in the way Polish women are now regarded as commodities in the brave new world of an unfettered free market. When I first went to Poland in 1999, the three questions one was asked on a persistent basis were,
1) Why are you in the Poland?
2) How long are you in the Poland for?
3) What do you think of Polish women?
It was blatantly apparent that as an Englishman could only be acting against his own economic interests by coming to Poland that there must be another reason: to get a Polish woman and to exploit his economic comparative advantage and the desire of Polish girls for a ticket to "the West" It was easy to ignore that sneaking feeling and this cross cultural expectation awaits its novelist, though Michel Houellebecq has already written in Platform with regards Third World Sex Tourism on the way the values of exchange dominate "interpersonal relationships".
The dating site Polski Dating tells the browser everything he needs to know about the Polish marriage market being packaged for the total convenience of the consumer. The site makes a token gesture at pretending to set up English women with Polish men, but the obvious thrust is on the marketing of the girls. As the section here Polish Marriage states, "Many Polish singles are looking to get settled down and enjoy what is known as a Polish marriage. That is Polish girls looking to get married with an English guy. Yes, you too could soon have a Polish wife - online with this successful Polish marriage site."
The following blog forthrightly has it in an article "Where to Find a Polish Woman" that, "Polish women are perhaps the most attractive women in Europe, and make good girlfriends, and wives. It is understandable that Polish women are so desirable as there are facial features are extremely pleasing. Additionally, Poles tend to have shapely bodies. She tends to make a great wife, as she is a good homemaker, a mother to her children and generally defers to the man without being subservient."
That no doubt fills a niche market for the English male who does not want a wholly subservient Thai bride. Whole categories of womenhood across the globe can now be packaged in that way. Yet the desire to "sell oneself" in that way depends on a degree of consent." This destroys the feminist argument entirely and the quest for women who will be domestic Godesses and "traditional wives" proves that the need for that has not gone away in Britain. It's a pitiful consequence of the atomisation of Western societies and pathetic aspirations for a "better life" elsewhere.
Isn't the "free" market wonderful? It cannot exist unless in alcohol, gambling, drugs, prostitution and pornography. That is one of the reasons why it must not exist at all.
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Poland isn't that poor and PL women certaintly don't need a passport carrying Brit to 'escape' to the west, so I suspect that dating website might struggle to make ends meet. Not sure if you've been to PL but 'sex tourism' is not exactly sweeping the country like a drunken sexy fire (at least not when I fly in). I'd also suggest that the West has learnt a thing or two about strip-clubs/bars etc from 'the east' rather than the other way around (Russians are much better at it than us, and have been accomodating the taste for much longer).
ReplyDeletePL isn't East European either, its in Central Europe, as my PL wife never tires of telling me.
Ah, that one...
ReplyDeletepro life pro family pro worker pro... prostitution. something tells me that your 'earnestness' might become a tad tedious if stuck beside you at a dinner party
ReplyDeleteYou couldn't afford me, dearie.
ReplyDelete"Poland isn't that poor and PL women certainly don't need a passport carrying Brit to 'escape' to the west, so I suspect that dating website might struggle to make ends meet".
ReplyDeleteParts of Poland are very poor, especially in the south east. In any case, the notion of "escape" is more subtle. It depends on "selling oneself" in the "free" market.
To a certain extent, this is what many people in all countries do where relations follow the neoliberal model.
A number of Polish women do trade on their relatively better looks compared to English women to get that British husband.
They see this as a literal "fast track" form of integration and a route to a "better life". They perceive having a British husband as status.
Because there are no Polish Mail Order Brides, this trend is more difficult to describe. But it's real and awaits a novelist to describe it.
True, it's not as mercenary as the exchange of marriage and passport as with Russian women. But the same calculations are at work.
Which is not to say that a very large number of Polish women do not try to use their looks and flirtation skills to net the man who will provide.
But to ignore the reality-something that could be treated well by an observant novelist-is willing denial of the way our world actually works.
'Which is not to say that a very large number of Polish women do not try to use their looks and flirtation skills to net the man who will provide.'
ReplyDeleteI think if you removed 'Polish' from that sentence you'd hit the nail on the head. Its called being a woman, in my experience.
And I'll def let my PL wife know that having me is a status symbol - I can see our evenings are going to fly by!! Her friends (all from the south east FYI) would also find that a tad amusing.
But really good blog Karl - and thanks to David to linking to something I wouldn't have found on my own.
Anonymous
ReplyDeleteWell, what I wrote wasn't just a criticism of Polish women in general. Remembering the words "some women " is important.
But also the kind of men in Britain who operate according to such principles as espoused by Polski Dating is equally deserving of criticism.
Such calculating principles based on the idea of advertising money and status for the prospect of sex and "happiness are universal "drives".
The obvious fact is that this was something more common within Britain before the so-called "sexual revolution".
The thing is that it was less explicit back then and still hedged with certain illusions, as it still is with Polski Dating.
And this is the point. British men tired of feminism and women who put careers before marriage still seek the same thing elsewhere.
Some women in Poland tired of the prospect of early marriage to someone who can't guarantee security and with men who make demands that are dull.
How this can be interpreted is open. The fact that Polish women look to men for security can be considered due to the absence of feminism in Poland.
On the other hand, feminism itself is less important as the need for women to enter the workforce in "advanced" Western nations.
In other words, there is a mutual absurdity in the whole process of "transference".
Some Polish women want a better version of what they might have had or been able to get in Poland with Polish men.
British men are seeking traditional domestic women to perform the role more British women were prepared to do 20 years ago.
In time, such Polish women may well get bored with this as this is not often what is desired. They want British men to offer something different than "where's me tea?".
But its better to be saddled with someone who's boring and monied than someone who's boring and not that monied.