Iain Martin will, for a start:
Voters of Britain! Feeling
forgotten, ignored and overlooked? Worried that other people are getting all
the media attention?
Concerned that no-one is interested in you because you don't live in Clacton or in a northern Labour seat in which the party's canvassing operation has been allowed to decay in recent decades to the extent that Ed Miliband's get out the vote machine now consists of one clipboard and three of those little pens purloined from a bookmakers?
Ever find yourself looking at pictures of Nigel Farage in the newspapers, with his eyes popping and that massive grin, and think: Is it just me that isn't in on the joke?
Are you struggling to answer a host of other questions, including: how did Neil Hamilton get back on the telly? Who is Paul Nuttall? Why does no-one in Clacton realise that Douglas Carswell is an enthusiast for mass immigration, driverless cars and introducing charging when you visit the doctor?
If you have been having these thoughts and feelings in recent months it is very likely you are one of the forgotten 85%, Britain's largest and most oppressed minority.
You are not alone.
The 85% are people who don't vote for Ukip, Britain's exciting new replacement for the Liberal Democrats.
Well, enough is enough. It is time to make a stand.
The 85% need to get themselves organised, perhaps by forming three parties, with one on the left representing what remains of the old industrial working class along with wealthy London lawyers and bearded creative types, another on the right fusing aristocratic interests and the hopes of the aspirational lower middle classes, and a third party that would blame both of the other parties until it gets into government and discovers that being in power is not as easy as it looks.
But the 85% must do more, starting today.
They must have the courage to speak up and say with one voice: We will not have Neil Hamilton back on the telly and, while we're at it, Ukip's purple and yellow branding is so obviously the worst possible clash ever in the field of marketing and an affront to Britain's proud graphic design industry.
Concerned that no-one is interested in you because you don't live in Clacton or in a northern Labour seat in which the party's canvassing operation has been allowed to decay in recent decades to the extent that Ed Miliband's get out the vote machine now consists of one clipboard and three of those little pens purloined from a bookmakers?
Ever find yourself looking at pictures of Nigel Farage in the newspapers, with his eyes popping and that massive grin, and think: Is it just me that isn't in on the joke?
Are you struggling to answer a host of other questions, including: how did Neil Hamilton get back on the telly? Who is Paul Nuttall? Why does no-one in Clacton realise that Douglas Carswell is an enthusiast for mass immigration, driverless cars and introducing charging when you visit the doctor?
If you have been having these thoughts and feelings in recent months it is very likely you are one of the forgotten 85%, Britain's largest and most oppressed minority.
You are not alone.
The 85% are people who don't vote for Ukip, Britain's exciting new replacement for the Liberal Democrats.
Well, enough is enough. It is time to make a stand.
The 85% need to get themselves organised, perhaps by forming three parties, with one on the left representing what remains of the old industrial working class along with wealthy London lawyers and bearded creative types, another on the right fusing aristocratic interests and the hopes of the aspirational lower middle classes, and a third party that would blame both of the other parties until it gets into government and discovers that being in power is not as easy as it looks.
But the 85% must do more, starting today.
They must have the courage to speak up and say with one voice: We will not have Neil Hamilton back on the telly and, while we're at it, Ukip's purple and yellow branding is so obviously the worst possible clash ever in the field of marketing and an affront to Britain's proud graphic design industry.
A Twitter hashtag is also
required. I suggest #theforgotten85percent.
People, we can do this. Say it
loud, and say it proud: "I am the 85% and I will not be forgotten."
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