Friday, 31 July 2026

Technically Speaking

Commendable though it is that the Prime Minister says “different from”, his Southern miseducation is evident from his reference to a “graduation cap”. A Durham man would have known that that headdress was an academic square, “vulgarly called a mortarboard”, and that it was never, ever to be worn to one’s degree congregation.

But no doubt like Andy Burnham, I was 14 when I chose an entirely academic path. Why not allow a 14-year-old to choose an entirely technical one? Though considerable, the practical obstacles are surmountable. Yet there is a problem in principle with this proposal.

A curriculum determined by “local employers” would be confining even if those were not vape shops, phone shops, nail bars, carwashes, Turkish barbers, and American candy shops, none of which is objectionable per se, but the proliferation of which in certain localities is, well, this time last year I was in HMP Durham. I know.

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