I Am Standing For Parliament

For the avoidance of all doubt, I am an Independent candidate for the parliamentary seat of North West Durham. Either the Labour candidate will be the current Leader of Durham County Council, or that creature, a coward as all bullies are, will to be too afraid to face me. That fact has rendered obsolete this site's previous feature, Oliver Kamm Candidacy Watch.

In any event, I am a candidate. The ongoing lawfare against me has no motivation except to damage my candidacy, and if it proceeded to trial then that point would be proved. My accusers are a cheap double act of failed female impersonators, in whose honour I have devised a tongue-twister and elocution exercise: "fishwife, washerwoman, fishwife, washerwoman, fishwife, washerwoman, fishwife, washerwoman." 

They are of course backed to the hilt by Keir Starmer's Crown Prosecution Service, which is an enforcement agency of the right-wing Labour machine. Again, its behaviour towards me at every point has proved that conclusively, and it continues to do so.

Let the CPS deny that it corrupted the jury at my trial, and that it would do the same to any jury, or to any bench of magistrates, that might try me in future. Until it does so, then those stand as undisputed facts: the Crown Prosecution Service corrupted the jury at my trial, and it would do the same to any jury, or to any bench of magistrates, that might try me in future. 

Let the two Directors of Public Prosecutions who have charged me state that they believe me to be guilty. Not that I have been convicted. Not that I have been charged. But that they believe me to have committed the offences in question. Until they do, then it stands as an undisputed fact that they believe me to be innocent. 

The Director of Public Prosecutions, Max Hill, does not dispute that I am innocent of the offences with which he has charged me, and his predecessor, Alison Saunders, does not dispute that I am innocent of the offences with which she charged me and arranged to have me convicted. Indeed, they know me to be so, as they do not dispute.

Or else let them deny it. Let them deny that they have persecuted me, and that they continue to do so, purely in order to advance their professional, political and social lives on and around the right wing of the Labour Party. I am nothing special, so they are certainly doing this to dozens of other people at any given time.

But grotesque though they are, such low sorts must not be permitted to distract us. We have a General Election for which to prepare. I would have kept my deposit if I had been convicted before last year's General Election, and I would be the First Past the Post if I had been to prison before the next one, which would not prevent me from standing unless I were still inside. The law is much looser than it is on local elections.

What a thing it is to have been made a martyr. What a thing it is to be a folk hero. It would take about 2500 votes to save my deposit, but only about 1500 to take more than the winning candidate's margin of victory. That said, I am in it to win it. Please give generously.