Abu Dhabi is hosting a camel beauty contest.
Go on, you know you want to...
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Political prisoner, activist, journalist, hymn-writer, emerging thinktanker, aspiring novelist, "tribal elder", 2019 parliamentary candidate for North West Durham, 2024 parliamentary candidate for North Durham, Shadow Leader of the Opposition, "Speedboat", "The Cockroach", banned from Twitter so officially more dangerous than the Taliban, eagerly awaiting the second (or possibly third) attempt to murder me.
I'm in, famed as I am for my gorgeous eyelashes. But as you're post insinuates, I've got no chance, given the potential opposition. Still, that never stops Newcastle United. Or the Lib Dems.
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