Berks

“Money is no object,” says David Cameron. Not to you, mate. Or to any of your lot. We already knew that.

They could not even be bothered to maintain the flood defences against the river that flows through London.

As soon as the Thames leaves London, then it disappears beyond human apprehension of its continuing existence.

Oh, well, not just the old Conservative-Lib Dem battleground of the West Country, but now Oxfordshire, Berkshire and Surrey, too. Eton, in fact.

Across the Thames Valley, Labour’s message needs to be clear: “Unlike either of the others, at least we didn’t flood your house.”