A Boy Named Sue?

Everyone thinks that I should sue for malicious prosecution and so forth. Well, perhaps I am too magnanimous for my own good, but I would settle for four times the Durham County Councillor's allowance that I would have had for at least four years if I had not been maliciously prosecuted. That allowance is £13,300, so the sum would be £53,200. Net, of course. That State need not think that it would be taxing half of it back.

I would be awarded a lot, and I do mean a lot, more than that if I sued. It is an almost invisibly tiny proportion of what this whole business has already cost. But be warned. This offer lasts only until the General Election. If I were also not to be elected on that occasion, then it would go up by five times the MP's salary that I would have had for at least five years, an addition of £397,340. Giving a total of £450,540. Again, net, of course.

What's that, you say? Laura Pidcock would have beaten me, anyway? Laura Pidcock would have beaten me, anyway? Frankly, I would like to see that one tested in court. I would like to see each of us brought before a jury, after which it would be asked to consider, all other things being equal, which of us it would have elected to Parliament, and which of us it would indeed have assumed to have been an MP if it had not known otherwise.

At least one other candidate would also testify that he would not have stood against me at all if the criminal action against me had not still been ongoing at the time, despite already having been shown in open court to have been so baseless that the prosecution's star witness had had to be made to disappear overnight four thousand miles away in order to cause the jury to be discharged and the whole thing to be dragged out for another year, entirely at public expense.

A vote for Pidcock is in any case a vote for a by-election within a year. Politically, she is entirely dependent on Ben Sellout, who is the bromantic partner of Simon Henig (and thus the only other person on the planet who can stand Henig on a personal level), and who has been Henig's accomplice in cutting the pay of 472 Teaching Assistants by 23 per cent.

This time next year, Henig and Sellout will be looking forward to their first of five or more Christmases in the same cell, as two of the people who are going to be sent to prison for having tried to send me there. At least for Sellout's role in that, if not for her own, Pidcock's own position will be untenable. Indeed, no longer being an MP might be the only thing that could save her from an exemplary custodial sentence.

And in view of the circumstances giving rise to the North West Durham by-election of 2020, I would win it by a mile. So possibly out of compassion for the feeble-minded and thus easily-led Pidcock, and certainly for the sake of sheer efficiency, it would just be easier to vote for me on 12th December 2019. My crowdfunding page is here, and buy the book here. Please email davidaslindsay@hotmail.com. Very many thanks.