That is what my New Labour opponent's parents will have been back in the day. Then again, when were Trots ever anything but trustafarians?
Still, at least they were interested in politics at all. More than can be said for her, a trustafarian and nothing else.
Will she even bother standing? Against a Nazi who pretends not to be, a Nazi who doesn't (David Irving, with any luck), a member of the Stalin Society, someone who shares the views of Peter Tatchell (already a candidate somewhere else, alas), Oliver Kamm (what are you frightened of, Oliver?) and me, why not sit back and enjoy the most interesting and colourful mainland contest for donkey's years, possibly in living memory?
You attack your hypothetical opponent on curiously specific grounds, and give a good foretaste of the negative and personally abusive tone you intend to strike in your campaign, but what have you ever done that makes you a good candidate?
ReplyDeleteDear David,
ReplyDeleteI saw the comment from the political editor of a national newspaper. I'm a political columnist for what must be the same newspaper, as we're readers of your blog and are quietly confident that you can fill the political space. There are obviously some powerful enemies around. You should give them a signal. Have you thought of taking libel action over the disgusting allegations made against you?
I'm sorry I can't give my name yet but you can probably guess where we're coming from and what our proprietor may not want to be said. Yet.
More than her, not that that's saying much.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, though, I want to talk about policy and its underlying philosophy. All those emailing me or trying (mostly without success) to post comments on here in negative terms just want to be abusive. They'll not beat me either way, let me assure you.
Policy and its underlying philosophy are my mian qualifications. But Parish Council work in a very unusually large and busy Parish, school governor work, experience (including current experience) of all three sectors, living here most of my life and being schooled entirely here, burying a parent at 13, major emergency surgery at 30...
Oh, there are reasons why I have quite so much to say.
"Policy and its underlying philosophy are my mian qualifications."
ReplyDeleteReally? Do tell.
With all due respect, I don't think many of those are great qualifications for being a PPC. Thousands of people are school governors, and almost all adults have work experience. And similarly, tragic as burying a parent at 13 and having surgery at 30 is, I don't quite see why it makes you a good candidate?
ReplyDeleteYou're going to destroy these people, David. Who would even be brave/suicidal enough to stand against you? Have you thought of setting up a fighting fund for your expenses? There'd be lots of Christian believers who will contribute!
ReplyDeletePraise be.
Gente and Predi, my qualifications are my views, which include:
ReplyDelete- no one’s tax-free income falls below half national median earnings;
- abolition of prescription charges, and restoration of free eye and dental treatment;
- employment rights to begin on day one of employment and apply regardless of the number of hours worked, as promised by John Smith;
- saving council housing, and bringing all council services back in house;
- renationalisation of the utilities and the railways;
- a national network of public transport free at the point of use;
- removal of all nuclear, radiological, chemical and biological weapons from British soil and waters;
- restoration of the supremacy of British over EU law;
- a return to preventative policing based on foot patrols;
- each offence to carry a minimum sentence of one third of its maximum sentence, or 15 years for life;
- restoration of grammar schools, restoration of O-levels, restoration of excellent Secondary Modern schools, and defence and restoration of Special Needs Education;
- a legal presumption of equal parenting;
- restoration of the tax allowance for fathers;
- allowing paternity leave to be taken at any time in the first 18 years of the child’s life;
- help for farmers and small businesses through a windfall tax on the supermarkets;
- defence of village services;
- saving shooting and fishing;
- repeal of the hunting ban;
- making Gypsies and Travellers obey the same planning laws as the rest of us;
- preservation of the historic regimental system;
- rebuilding of the Royal Navy;
- saving the Royal Air Force;
- nuclear power and clean coal technology;
- restoration of British overall control of our defence capability;
- Ministers to have their pay docked if either spending or outcomes are lower in the North East than in Scotland or the South East;
- immediate and unconditional withdrawal from Afghanistan and Iraq;
- total opposition to lap-dancing clubs; and
- an MP’s office in Consett as well as in Crook.
And I have to say that both school governor work and indeed work of the usual kind are not going to be on the CV of the New Labour candidate. If they were, then she could not be the New Labour candidate.
Anonymous 15:25, I can and will have victory over them one of two ways: when they are too scared to put up against me, or when they do and I beat them at the polls. Libel actions do not interest me where these people are concerned.
And Anonymous 15:42, yes, a fund will soon be set up. Watch this space.
Why don't you sue for libel and use the award for your election expenses? You keep getting this rubbish thrown at you, the accusations of using false names and what have you. Crush these evil people now.
ReplyDeleteThey rarely, if ever, use their real names.
ReplyDeleteAnd anyway, we need the money rather spooner than that.
Which of your policies do you believe you will first successfully implement: the withdrawal of troops from Afghanistan or the relocation of a local MPs office? Which will be your priority?
ReplyDeleteThe latter will happen first, since I can do it on my own.
ReplyDeleteBut there will still be an office in Crook - it is quite normal in large rural constituencies for there to be more than one office. This need not involve any more staff.
In this as in so many ways, the penny never seems to have dropped that this IS a large rural constituency.
Do you have any other policies you can enact on your own?
ReplyDeleteNo, and nor has Gordon Brown, David Cameron or Whatever His Name Is. That's not how Parliament works.
ReplyDeleteGood to see the New Lbaour spoilers out. You thought that you could give some London schoolgirl in favour of privatisation, endless wars and partial birth abortion this seat as if it were an earldom. Well, you can't.
- no one’s tax-free income falls below half national median earnings;
ReplyDelete- abolition of prescription charges, and restoration of free eye and dental treatment;
- employment rights to begin on day one of employment and apply regardless of the number of hours worked, as promised by John Smith;
- saving council housing, and bringing all council services back in house;
- renationalisation of the utilities and the railways;
- a national network of public transport free at the point of use;
- removal of all nuclear, radiological, chemical and biological weapons from British soil and waters;
- restoration of the supremacy of British over EU law;
Lightening rods for Labour backbenchers.
- restoration of the supremacy of British over EU law;
- a return to preventative policing based on foot patrols;
- each offence to carry a minimum sentence of one third of its maximum sentence, or 15 years for life;
- restoration of grammar schools, restoration of O-levels, restoration of excellent Secondary Modern schools, and defence and restoration of Special Needs Education;
- a legal presumption of equal parenting;
- restoration of the tax allowance for fathers;
- allowing paternity leave to be taken at any time in the first 18 years of the child’s life;
- help for farmers and small businesses through a windfall tax on the supermarkets;
- defence of village services;
- saving shooting and fishing;
- repeal of the hunting ban;
- making Gypsies and Travellers obey the same planning laws as the rest of us;
- preservation of the historic regimental system;
- rebuilding of the Royal Navy;
- saving the Royal Air Force;
Lightening rods for Labour backbenchers.
- nuclear power and clean coal technology;
- restoration of British overall control of our defence capability;
- Ministers to have their pay docked if either spending or outcomes are lower in the North East [and other regions] than in Scotland or the South East;
- immediate and unconditional withdrawal from Afghanistan and Iraq;
- total opposition to lap-dancing clubs;
Lightening rods across the House.
David will have no shortage of allies on the floor of the House of Commons.
"[and other regions]"
ReplyDeleteOf course.
And, of course, several of things in either of the first two lists have very considerable cross-party appeal, but within and beyond Labour and the Tories.
Remember, this Election is going to be tight. The next Parliament offers enormous possibilities.
Kamm used his real name in that letter. You could sue him for the libel in that letter and you'd win.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious - you imply that you're standing in the tradition of Martin Bell in Tatton and Richard Taylor in Wyre Forest, but there were very specific localised reasons why those two candidates (and specifically those two candidates) were elected, and of course Martin Bell failed to pull off the same trick elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteGiven that the vast majority of seats see an independent candidate of some kind or other, and that the overwhelming majority lose their deposits, what is so special about you (and indeed so ghastly about the other candidates) that you think you can break this particular mould? What makes you the Martin Bell or Richard Taylor of Durham North West?
David, I'm a media lawyer and I don't think you can leave the libel business aside like that. It doesn't matter who is running against you if the media can make these disgraceful claims that you write under false names. You need to scotch them or they'll come up in the campaign. Sorry but that's how it is. Bad people do bad things.
ReplyDeleteRichard S, the really bad thing that these bad people have done is to lie this country into war, which, shall we say, rather detracts credibility from their claims on any other subject.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, I don't want to beat Kamm in court. I want to beat him, or someone with his views, at the polls.
And Tingo, I'm not a gulag-denier, I'm not a Holocaust-denier, I'm not a Sharia supporter, I'm not a Bush-loving warmonger, I'm not a supporter of lowering the age of consent to 14 or even younger, and I'm not a supporter of partial birth abortion. Unless they chicken out, all those options will be on the ballot paper. And I will beat them all.
Since I do, however, hold the views for which most people, certainly in this corner of the forest, at least broadly think that they are voting when they vote for any of the main parties. But they are not. Whereas they will be if they vote for me. Which is why they will vote for me.
Are you going to have a pledge card? It will need to be quite big.
ReplyDeleteNo New Labour gimmicks here. I take the electorate seriously. Even if there ever is a card, it will not be like theirs, most notable for containing in 1997 the barefaced lie that they were going to abolsih the NHS internal market. The first of so very many barefaced lies, of course.
ReplyDelete"Since I do, however, hold the views for which most people, certainly in this corner of the forest, at least broadly think that they are voting when they vote for any of the main parties. But they are not. Whereas they will be if they vote for me. Which is why they will vote for me."
ReplyDeleteEvery independent candidate since time immemorial has claimed that they represent the views of the people. And yet somehow, somehow, the main parties always win. What can you do, in practical terms, to persuade people that other independents can't?
Look at the alternatives.
ReplyDeleteThe difference is that people now KNOW that the cartel parties do not represent them. They will take one look at Little Miss Lightweight and her ex-boyfriend (or as good as) pretending to be her Tory opponent, and tell them both exactly where to get off.
Look at the alternatives.
ReplyDeleteSo you say. But so said all independents in 2005, in 2001, in 1997....
The difference is that people now KNOW that the cartel parties do not represent them.
Why?
They will take one look at Little Miss Lightweight and her ex-boyfriend (or as good as) pretending to be her Tory opponent, and tell them both exactly where to get off.
Why? And even if that's true, why not the Lib Dems, or the Greens, or any other national party?
this is pretty worrying David. "Why are you standing, and do you really think you can win" are pretty much the first two questions any interviewer will ask you during a campaign. If you can't give a simple and brief answer (which you haven't, regrettably, done so far) then you're not going to catch people's attention.
ReplyDeleteLiq, watch this space.
ReplyDeleteConda, not everyone has your limited attention span, dear.
Of course, I know who you people are, and that I am paying for you. Wafted straight out of your very recent BAs into thirty and forty grand a year "jobs" in MPs' offices or in government departments, you are really employed to do this all day.
How much parliamentary time in the next, let's say, three years after the election do you think will be devoted to your policies? You can answer in hours, days or weeks, whichever is more convenient.
ReplyDeleteAnd, contrary to what you may believe, I'm not employed in anything that could even vaguely be referred to as politics - I merely think you are wrong.
Depends how much of a nuisance I make of myself both in the House and in the media.
ReplyDeleteBoth in the House and in the media, I intend to make a thorough nuisance of myself. Doing so in the House is what MPs are paid for, and doing so in the media is now necessary to the that.
I have just done a whole post of this, actually.
Now, if you had anything else to do, I'd tell you to get back to it, as that that is what we pay you for. But, alas, this IS what we are paying you for.
And Tingo, I'm not a gulag-denier, I'm not a Holocaust-denier, I'm not a Sharia supporter, I'm not a Bush-loving warmonger, I'm not a supporter of lowering the age of consent to 14 or even younger, and I'm not a supporter of partial birth abortion.
ReplyDeleteSo you're going to produce election literature claiming that this applies to all your opponents? I'm glad someone's offering you libel advice in another thread!
On a more serious note, you haven't answered my question (which, as has already been pointed out, is the FIRST question anyone will ask you). It's no good slagging off your opponent, even if he's a universally vilified figure like Neil Hamilton (which is unlikely to be the case in Durham North West 2010) - you have to offer people a positive reason to pick you, as opposed to any of the other independents.
The voters of Tatton had several alternatives to Martin Bell, so why did they pick him? And why should the voters of Durham North West specifically pick you?
David, yes, but whether you've been using false names or not is a matter that can be proved by looking at computer records. Your opponents will probably pretend they have these. You need to be able to challenge them to come up with them.
ReplyDeleteRichard S, I'm only interested in beating him on the issues and at the polls.
ReplyDeleteTingo, get back to work.
David, I'm sorry to ask this, but are your opponents able to produce computer records proving their point? It's important because it will scupper your camapaign if they are.
ReplyDeleteNo, of course they won't. No one cares what they say. They lied this country into war, after all. And anything relating to computer records is esoteric in the extreme to most people.
ReplyDeleteRichard S, it looks like the answer to your question is "Yes, probably, but I don't care".
ReplyDeleteYou're half right. I don't care. And nor will anyone else.
ReplyDeleteThose who go down this road will just look like what they are: geeky Lenin High School boys lusting hopelessly after the public school glamour girl who will be the New Labour candidate.
Real people are interested in policy and its underlying philosophy. We are a long way from Latteland here, thank God.
This, presumably, is why Heat magazine always has so many features on renationalising the railways and House of Lords reform.
ReplyDeleteYes, that really is your opinion of Great Unwashed.
ReplyDeleteOh, what fun this is going to be!
No, it's the media's opinion of the people you rather dismissively choose to call the Great Unwashed.
ReplyDeleteWell, if its in "the media", then it must be right.
ReplyDeleteGosh, I'm going to enjoy this so much that it is already starting to feel slightly unseemly.
How come they are all still here at 5 o'clock on a Friday? Haven't they all been in the pub for hours by now?
ReplyDeleteNo, no, I'm not defending the media. I'm just not sure how you'll get your message across if nobody is interested in covering your message.
ReplyDeleteThis is the age of wi-fi, Tim.
ReplyDeleteAnd alas, no one can tell whether they are drunk or sober, since they come out with the same drivel either way.
Tim, it's Thursday.
ReplyDeleteI meant Thursday, but you people aren't in at all on Fridays, which is confusing for those of us who work for a living.
ReplyDeleteDavid is no doubt about to lay into you for imagining that the only thing read by "ordinary" people in Heat magazine.
Looks like you've beaten me to it, Tim.
ReplyDeleteDavid, I'm very embarrassed to be pressing you on this. But it looks to me as if you deliberately sidestepped my question. I asked you whether your opponents would be able to produce computer records showing that you've written under false names. I didn't ask your view on how they'd be received.
ReplyDeleteHave you been promoting your campaign while using false names? If you have, then you should say so now, because you're seeking the trust of the voters. It's also serious from the point of view of electoral law.
I assumed from your comments earlier that you were the victims of smears. That doesn't seem to be true. If it isn't then I'm quite disappointed in you.
"Have you been promoting your campaign while using false names?"
ReplyDeleteNo, of course not.
Now, if your're not going to talk about politics, go away.
I was just trying to offer support and advice for your campaign. What's the point of being so offensive?
ReplyDeleteMy campaign is about serious, grown-up politics, not student union rubbish.
ReplyDeleteMy comments were not rubbish. I was asking a question that would come up in your campaign. I have found that, rightly or wrongly, you do have a reputation for posting under false names. Kamm has said this openly. This can be settled quite easily by looking at computer records. If you've been less than honest, then this will blow a hole in your campaign. You do seem very defensive on this question, which is why I've asked.
ReplyDelete"I was asking a question that would come up in your campaign."
ReplyDeleteWould it buggery. We're serious up here, because we can't afford to be decadent and effette. If some London-based candidate started down this sort of road, then it would be entirely to his disbenefit.