Once Again, With Feeling

Hurrah! England has been drawn against Croatia again. Here's hoping that this will guarantee English non-qualification for the World Cup.

No television schedules butchered. No twenty minutes of half-hour news bulletins given over to this non-news. No hordes of oafs showing us up in front of the rest of the world (and I don't just mean off the pitch). No pretending that the England team stands any realistic chance of winning the tournament itself. No fake patriotism of the Saint George's Flag variety from those who seem genuinely unaware that when the black writing, often even in a form of Gothic script, is added, the thing could not possibly look more German.

And, with a bit of self-made luck, the opportunity to concentrate instead on the real threats to our country, including (though by no means restricted to) the mass adoration of uneducated, drunken, drug-addled, obscenely overpaid wife-beaters and gang-rapists. Come on, Croatia!