Doors To Manual

Spare a thought for Kate Middleton and her mother. They say "toilet", "pardon" and "pleased to meet you", and, though a married woman, Mrs Middleton has a job. Indeed, she used to be an air stewardess. And some of her ancestors were miners in County Durham.

So neither Mrs nor Miss Middleton can ever now be an MP for any party. Indeed, if they ever did set foot on the floor of the House of Commons, then easily half the Labour front bench, and certainly the entire Tory one, would doubtless chorus "Doors To Manual".